Cash Money, Where's The Honey?

I woke up this morning with slight excitement. I finally was going to get rid of the tree that's been sitting in my sun room for the last week covered in a white plastic sheet. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed seeing the poor thing during the holidays all bright, silver, and purple; but it's nice to get it out of here. It's a physical representation of a specific point in time that is finally moving on.

After that, I spent the better time of my day working (again) on my resume and looking for a job that could (literally) save my life.

I feel like the majority of my time I spend thinking about how I'm going to pay this, where I'm going to be next, or if I'm even going to be able to pull it off. I don't mean to sound so mopey and depressing about it all, but the fact of the matter is it is utterly overwhelming. It feels like every step of my life thus far (major life altering steps) has been a struggle. From living with my parents, working through school, working through college, finding a decent job, even figuring out my personal life.

I suppose that's what it's suppose to be about, the struggle. What's funny is that even as I type this, I feel as if I've written these words before. I'm very sure I have, but I don't know how to move passed these feelings, and I've gotten tired of just thinking about them.

BUT hell! I make an awesome piece of Chicken! I finally got another chance to cook for myself. You'd think I'd partake in this endeavor more often, but I don't. Mostly because I just can't seem to get to the grocery store and buy some fresh produce, or have the money to buy them off of peapod. Maybe this upcoming week. Doubtful, but just maybe.

All I know is that for the next couple of week I have to figure out my loan consolidation business and get myself on a STRICT very STRICT budget. It's just difficult when most of the companies that I trust to consolidate with aren't taking applications at this moment because of the troubles in the economy.

If I could travel back in time right now, and tell myself any piece of advice. I would go back to when I was 18 and making my decision of where to go to college, and say "Dude, keep track of your loans. All your documents, and don't feel like you need to prove anything to anyone." Maybe I'll just share that with my brother.